Tuesday, July 29, 2014

How to Use Chopsticks - Chapter 2: The Etiquette of Dining

Chapter 2: The Etiquette of Dining
“Itadakimasu!”


Pronounced i-tah-dah-ki-mas.

A sure sign that a Japanese restaurant is good is if it’s filled with actual Japanese diners. And if you’ve ever found yourself enjoying a meal in the midst of a Japanese-filled dining room, you’ll be sure to hear the phrase “Itadaki-masu!” a lot. It means ‘I gratefully receive’ in Japanese and is traditionally said at the start of a meal. But that’s just one thing in a very long list of polite dining rules that the Japanese follow.


Knowing how to use chopsticks is essential in proper Japanese dining, especially when the setting is formal. Did you ever notice that while you might get a fork and spoon at Chinese or Korean restaurants, you never get anything but a pair of chopsticks at a
Japanese food place? That means there’s no going around it; if you want to eat Japanese food, you need to learn how to handle a pair of chopsticks.

We’re going to give you a quick background on what’s proper and what’s not when it comes to using chopsticks. Impaling your food with the sticks is a big no-no. It also won’t do to play drums with them; don’t forget, these are as good as utensils for eating. When you’re resting between courses, place your chopsticks neatly to your right (there should be a chopsticks rest provided). Make sure it’s not pointed at anyone. If you leave them lying in your bowl or leave them on your plate, you’re telling the wait staff that you’re done eating. They’ll whisk your food away for sure.

Haven’t heard enough about chopsticks? Don’t worry; we’ll get into the nitty gritty details in the next chapter where we’ll tell you all about learning how to use chopsticks. But in this chapter, we’ll discuss what to expect when eating at a Japanese restaurant or when dining with Japanese company.

When you’re first seated in a Japanese restaurant, they are going to give you a slightly wet towel, often faintly scented with lavender or something equally pleasant. Do not make the mistake of using them to wipe your face. They’re actually meant for wiping your hands clean. After ordering, you’ll probably see a bottle of soy sauce nearby. When the food is served, do not pour the soy sauce directly onto the bowl or plate. Instead, pour a small amount into the small, separate bowl provided and dip the food there before you take a bite.
After a bit of a wait, your food is going to arrive. How are you going to drink soup or eat rice with a pair of chopsticks? Don’t worry, there are some pro moves that will have you looking like you’ve been eating Japanese food your whole life.

In Japanese dining, it’s okay to pick up your bowl of rice or soup. For eating rice, hold your bowl with your left hand (or whichever hand isn’t holding the chopsticks) and your chopsticks with your right. Take a bit of the meat in your chopsticks or take a bite from a big piece and then you can take a bit of rice and put it in your mouth. Don’t put any of the meat in the rice bowl; they should be separate. Also, it is considered impolite to leave even one grain of rice. To accomplish this, you’ll need to hold the bowl close to your chin while using your chopsticks to pick up food, but do not hold the bowl directly against your mouth. A lot of people make the mistake of touching the bowl to their lips and simply using chopsticks to tip the food in. It turns out this is considered extremely rude.

For drinking a bowl of soup, it’s another matter. It’s okay to take a sip directly from the bowl. Use your chopsticks to eat the vegetables and meat in the soup while holding the bowl close to your lips and even against your chin.

When it comes to drinking alcohol with company, there’s a whole different set of rules to follow. One of the most important is to always pour for the other person. When you’re drinking with someone else, you never pour yourself a glass. That means you have to be on the lookout for empty cups or glasses. On the other hand, if your friend is taking too long to notice you need a refill, hold your empty glass out with both hands. In formal restaurants where kaiseki ryori or Japanese fine dining cuisine is served, it is considered bad manners to get obviously drunk but the same is not true for other, more casual settings (as long as you’re not bothering anyone).

“Kampai” is the Japanese equivalent to cheers and salute!
While there are a lot of things that you need to do to get things right as a Japanese guest at dinner, there are also some things that you must absolutely not do. Here are some of the most embarrassing things that you can do when dining at a Japanese restaurant or in a Japanese household.

1. Blowing your nose
2. Do not point at other people with your chopsticks. Don’t point at other people while holding      chopsticks. Don’t gesture or point at food with your chopsticks.
3. When bringing gifts as an invited guest, avoid bringing them in sets of four or nine. Both numbers sound too much like death and suffering when spoken out loud in the Japanese language and are considered terribly unlucky.
4. Do not stick chopsticks into your bowl in a vertical position. This is a sign that indicates death and is considered terribly impolite.
5. Do not pass food from one set of chopsticks to another. Instead, set food down on the other person’s plate directly.

One last thing; in Japanese culture, the person who invites everyone for dinner (or for any meal) is usually the person who pays. Keep this in mind when sending out invitations for an impromptu dinner!
At the end of the meal, you can say “Gochisosama” which means ‘thank you for the meal.’ These are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to proper Japanese etiquette for dining but these handful of do’s and don’ts will carry you a long way, whether you’re in for a casual meal or a formal dinner with business partners. What’s important is that you enjoy the food, enjoy the company, and make new friends in the process!

This is an excerpt from the book: How to Use Chopsticks 

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